At the age of 29, I received the devastating news that I had a very serious neuromuscular disease called Myasthenia Gravis. This disease causes an overall debilitating weakness that often leads to death from respiratory arrest. At the time of my diagnosis, I was given only five years to live as there was no cure or effective treatment.
I had two small children at the time, and I soon learned that just as I had learned to manage my time, I also had to make the decision as to how I would use my limited amount of strength. For instance, would I make the bed, or would I hold my babies? Would I spend time with my husband, or would I spend time managing the BMDMI team ministry? My choices were clear. Through it all, I learned to balance my responsibilities. I also learned to lean on the Lord, asking Him that when I was weak, to bear me up on wings of eagles. It was not easy to deal with constant weakness, and I have to admit that at times I became very discouraged. However, during those times, I learned to crawl up into my Abba Father’s lap and allow Him to heal my aching heart.
Another challenge I faced that really discouraged me was well-meaning Christians who would tell me that if I just had more faith, I would be healed. During those times, I began to ask myself if my faith was too small to allow God to heal me. However, the Lord assured me that my responsibility was to look to the Healer instead of looking for healing. It was more important to spend my life loving the Healer and basking in His presence.
During my worst flares of the myasthenia gravis, my breathing would become labored, forcing me to leave my family and the mission field to go to the Baptist Hospital in Houston, Texas. I would inevitably be placed on a ventilator to breath for me for as much as three months at a time. These times were very difficult, as being on a ventilator made me feel like I
was smothering. To calm myself, I would quote scriptures to myself such as, “Be still, and know that I am God…” (Psalms 46:10, KJV). Also, “…in quietness and in confidence shall be your strength” (Isaiah 30:15, KJV). Thankfully, sometimes they would place me in an induced coma so that I would not fight the ventilator. In such instances, I would have no memory of being on the ventilator.
It was very hard for me, as a wife and a mother, to leave my family and fly from Honduras to Houston, where I spent on average five months out of the year. Thankfully, a new treatment called “plasmapheresis” was created. This procedure involves removing the patient’s blood, separating the red blood cells from the plasma, replacing the plasma with a solution, and then returning the mixture of blood and solution back into the patient. I was the first patient to receive this treatment in Houston. It would go on to change my life, providing me with periods of health before I would have to return for additional treatments.
To be continued...
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